A baka's guide to clusterpunk
So you want to clusterpunk now, and don't know where to start? Fortunately or unfortunately, there are inherently no rigid guidelines as to what constitutes right or wrong here- you basically want to capture the "unhinged homeless otaku" energy in the comfiest manner possible. There is no real upper limit to absurdity but just make sure to not call an outfit with just pajama pants and a graphic tee "clusterpunk" because that's not enough. You have to feel the chaos. Gather as many clashing plaid patterns as possible and juxtapose it with kawaii fashion and you now have yourself an epic aesthetically appealing outfit. I've clusterpunk’ed myself a bit but am probably not much of an expert compared so some of you but this is ultimately about doing your own thing and having fun. It's a style I sincerely admire and want to share it to others who might feel the same. At the very least, I want to make it easily searchable and attempt to derive some sort of definition of the aesthetic. So I'm going to try by best and see what happens.
Pants
So you're going to start with the pajama pants- that will be the keystone to the entire outfit. The reason we start here is because the most important part of clusterpunk is to be comfy, so you should pick the best pajama pants or sweats for the occasion. Be extremely careful though since screwing this part up can ruin the entire fit. A simple plaid print works but more unconventional designs or graphics like cartoon characters or logos encouraged if possible. The brighter the colors the better! Sweats are fine but tend to be plain solid color designs usually so try and avoid them unless styled unconventionally.
The first thing the discerning individual might notice is the utter lack of good pockets in your pajama pants. Producers of these pants simply cannot mend their embarrassing design oversight and continue to make pajama pants with terrible pockets. You're actually lucky if you get any pockets at all these days. Luckily our Found Father’s have developed a secret, advanced technique to overcome this crippling shortcoming, and if you ask me, completely elevates the clusterpunk outfit to a whole new level: you want to do is put on cargo shorts over your pajama pants. Then you want to incorporate as many clashing patterns as possible while making it as comfy as possible. Good cargo shorts will have at least reasonable sized pockets for all your handheld gaming and entertainment needs. As a side note, easily one of my favorite parts about cargo shorts is that I could easily fit my DS into the side pockets and still have room to slide some poptarts and my phone into the other pockets. The practicality is simply unmatched! So with this system of putting cargo shorts over your pajama pants, you get all the comfort and warmth of your jammies but still retain the practicality offered by the cargo design.
Shirts
Next you'll need a shirt- debatably the centerpiece that ties everything together so take some time to ponder this part carefully. Graphic tees are required, naturally. Ideally, you'll have an oversized anime shirt with cute girls on it. The larger and more colorful the graphic the better! Grab one of those graphic tees from Nijigen Cospa but if you’re on a budget then sites like or Etsy or Redbubble work just as good. Feel free to make your own shirts too because that will allow for the greatest expression of creativity. And of course, this is not limited to anime graphics either- just proudly display your favorite piece of media or fandom affiliation on the shirt. Band tees and the like are welcome of course, just make sure your music taste is not terrible otherwise the 'fit completely falls apart. And of course, make sure there are no 3DPD on the shirt!
Outerwear
Weather permitting, you can adorn a robe over the shirt. The bathrobe is absolutely iconic and elevates the outfit to some truly omega transcendental levels. Nothing is more comfy than a nice bathrobe and is the ideal piece for hikikomori in the winter. It's like a blanket with arm holes and usually has two additional pockets for tactical storage usage. I find robes indispensable because I can put cans of Mountain Dew or snack bags in the pockets and take them to my room. Not only do they keep you warm and cozy but they're incredibly practical. I personally live in a poorly insulated attic converted into a room so robes are a necessity during the coldest days of the year. But if you're feeling especially fat and dangerous, throw on an oversized fur coat and pop the collar.
Flannel button-ups or pullovers are welcomed as well so feel free to incorporate them however you see fit. You can also wear the long-sleeve shirt under the short sleeve shirt like it's 2003. The reason we do this technique is to not obstruct the cute anime graphics on your shirt since we want it to be as visible as possible. The shirt really is the centerpiece to everything- the cherry on top if you will. This is also why you should always leave your robe open. Not only does it showcase the graphic, but the fabric flows in the wind when you walk. I highly recommended that you remove the robe belt since it can only get in the way.
Accessories
Accessorize in a way that fits your personality the best, and always remember to dress in preparation of anything happening. For the hikikomori or otaku, danger lurks at every turn. During the rare instance that you might be caught outside during the daytime and be exposed to sunlight, always remember your sunglasses. Rounded hippie sunglasses are simply iconic and it doesn't get any better than that. I personally like vintage Oakley Juliet's like Hideki Kamiya's legendary silver and orange frames, so honestly any type works and makes you look really cool. I also like oversized hats paired with over ear headphones around the neck and a chain wallet for some of that 2000's Tetsuya Nomura design energy. Watches and other jewelry can be added at your discretion so have fun with it!
Clusterpunk: UNLEASHED
Dress like how you always wanted to dress as a starry-eyed kid playing an RPG for the first time. Clusterpunk is your canvas and the only limit is your adherence to conventional social norms. The point of clusterpunk is to carry punk sensibilities of being as outrageous as possible to the eyes of the "riajuu" so you need to go beyond reason. You want to make them look at you and gasp in utter horror at being outdone by someone of your powerlevel. They simply have not seen someone who's magic was this strong. The undeniable genius of your artistic prowess will eventually set in for those who get it. Detractors will be dumbfounded and shaking in their boring NPC 'fits. Society is not ready for you yet.
But clusterpunk doesn't just exist as for self-mockery and shock-factor either; clusterpunk is so much more! Remember to express yourself like an individual and have fun. Look in the mirror and start laughing; is that from joy or embarrassment? Only leave your room with a smile on your face.