無限寝室ディメンションENDLESS BEDROOM DIMENSION

Parz(ival) is a suspicious long-haired Akiba-kei otaku with crippling insomnia and one too many self-destructive tendencies. "Parz" is the worst-case scenario when unchecked autism collides with anime, unrestricted internet access and a certain after-dark channel. Everything I am is defined by a co-opted set of eclectic personality quirks, an extreme dependency on foolish otaku ideologies and a perverted set of morals. At some point I grew tired and being disappointed with the deficiencies of everyone I used to idolize. The person I sought already existed within me. So I became the last defender of what I believe to be “Otaku” and hold steadfast to those convictions.

Plagued by lethargy and frightening levels of paranoia I’ve drifted in and out of being a hikikomori. Right now I work an easy computer job making more money than I know what to do with. The rest of my time is spent constantly drinking Mountain Dew and watching anime; that's the only thing I care about. My heart lives in yesterday. I am a Wordpress blogger displaced from a time now forgotten, and still fancy myself a post-modern (whatever that means) otaku gonzo writer. Since nobody cares about text blogging anymore, the lack of attention allowed me ample time to develop some sort of identity. I'm a hopeless otaku who persistently indulges in his hobbies with a complete disregard for everything else. I am eternally living in a reality where I never grew up and the mid-2000's never ended. My room has blankets taped over my windows and I spend most days embracing the darkness pretending like nothing exists beyond these four walls; ignorance really is bliss.

Being around others is suffocating. The only comfort I know is isolation. I dropped out of reality and have a twisted pride about disconnecting from Reality. Nobody wants to accept the notion that someone can function perfectly fine isolated. I scoff at their dependencies. There is no space for people in my life and my misanthropy has since reached concerning levels. The last “friend” who truly meant something to me was left behind in 2013.

Ultimately, much of my life is a series of pathetically unfortunate events but that has taught me the power of not giving a damn; now I can happily walk around in pajama pants and a Lucky Star t-shirt with a smug grin plastered on my face. These seemingly self-inflicted wounds are illuminated by the rainbow tinge of happy hardcore. The lights are off but the beat is still kickin’ and I dance like nobody’s watching. Escapism is my sole companion in a world of artificial comforts and twinkling lights above. I never meant to stay a while- this space was always meant to be my home, here in this twilight.

Years of convincing myself that Reality mattered only built up pressure from my eventual rejection of that narrative entirely--and what a wonderful climax it was! On November 27, 2017 I vowed to become as genuine as possible even if I lost everything in the process. That was when I stopped being the Man I Used To Be and fully merged with my idealized online persona. I am completely removed from the idealistic desire for "friends” and scoffing at the riajuu subservience to love, and confidently walks along this path making mockery of those who still cling to each other. Welcome to the Kingdom of Kimomen! NHKにようこそ.

”Parz” is a living contradiction; both needlessly esoteric and unbearably honest. The meaning this alias accrued has since eclipsed my initial attachment to the pseudonym. It transcended the pages from whence it was stolen, transcended the screen from which it was seen, and has become synonymous with the person I truly am. Reduce me to my most basic form and you get “otaku” but there’s more than simply that. I’m an unsuccessful gonzo essayist, kimomen, Ideological Warrior, relentless hikikomori and an Enemy of the World. I’m young and arrogant and hate everything you stand for.

I may not be popular, but I live on.