Beyond the obvious excitement of seeing my favorite girl animated once again, the third and final season of Oregairu has offered new evidence to back some of my own theories and recontextualize some of my views of certain characters, namely the enigmatic Yukinoshita Haruno. Haruno proved to be a difficult character to approach initially and I was only satisfied labeling her as an “instigator” before quickly drawing conclusions on unsound evidence. However, because of recent developments in the third season, I can more reasonably address some motivations behind her continued involvement with Hikigaya Hachiman, and inadvertently explain her reasoning why neither she nor Hachiman can “get drunk.”

Yukinoshita Haruno cannot have anything genuine. This becomes painfully apparent as the third season of Oregairu enters its final stages and she begins to express her true motivations. However, even from her early appearances in previous seasons we can piece together why this might be the case, and it’s because she can’t get “drunk.” In episode 10 she explains how the construction Hachiman has painstakingly pieced together with Yui and Yukino is inadequate, which has been relayed consistently since the tail-end of the second season, where she is quick to criticize their delusions of genuinity. Haruno is dissatisfied with the current relationship because she knows that everyone is sacrificing something. Yuigahama Yui is perhaps shouldering the biggest burden of them all by killing her own feelings. Yukinoshita Yukino is attempting to downplay her own feelings for the sake of her friend. However, the irony is that nothing will be accomplished in such a stalemate. If two people are insisting that the other enter the door first, nobody will ever enter it. Haruno wants her sister to have agency in her feelings and be selfish, but that isn’t something Yukino is easily able to stomach after knowing her best friend shares the same feelings, so her solution is to be the fall-man in much the same way she condemned Hachiman in the past.

So why is Haruno critical of Hachiman after Yukino eventually starts to pursue him? Because she thinks Yukino is still being dragged along without her own sense of agency. However, before addressing the validity of that statement we must ask if Haruno’s critique is valid in the first place. Previously, Hiratsuka-sensei told Hachiman “Don’t summarize what you have in a simple word like ‘codependency.’” which counters Haruno’s infamous critique of the group. She viewed Yukino as being unable to function as an individual without relying on Hachiman. And in a sense, that is true. Yukino’s reliance on her friends can be taken as codependency, or it can be seen as reaching out a hand to a friend. That change in perspective is the key to understanding why Haruno is ultimately incorrect in her assessment, despite it seemingly being true. Human relationships can be distilled to their most fundamental titles; “friends,” “teacher and student,” or “boyfriend and girlfriend” to name a few. Yet, these are simply generalizations that lump all categorically applicable people into the same metaphorical container. Take for instance, the relationship between Hiratsuka-sensei and Hachiman, which cannot be simply explained as a “teacher student” relationship. I’ve never spoken to my professors in nearly the same manner as they do, yet, our respective relationships nevertheless are categorized as being the same. So through her critique, we can see how mistaken Yukinoshita Haruno really was, but more importantly, how she thinks about people.

Knowing this, the biggest question that must be addressed next is “will Hachiman get something genuine?” and according to Haruno, he won’t, because he can’t get drunk, just like her. Haruno is an “alcoholic” and has become desensitized, though not in a literal sense. Her interest in Hachiman sparked as a result of her seeing “something” in him that she once knew in herself, which is the ability to read people. This proved to be both a blessing and a curse for both her and Hachiman since they inevitably began reading between the lines far too often even in inappropriate situations. Haruno was groomed to be the successor to the Yukinoshita family and was likely subjected to participate in many formal gatherings where she would put on a mask of the composed elder sister, chat with people she didn’t care about and use keigo to express a facade of respect. Consequently, she became disillusioned with the concept of genuinity in relationships because all she would see and pretend to be was, for lack of a better word, a phony. “I’ve done my own share of deceiving for twenty years now, so I know it all too well” she admits, “I’ve lived a life that was nothing but deceiving myself.” Haruno ended up pretending to be someone else for so long that she forgot who she actually was, and she fears that for Yukino too. She doesn’t want Yukino to force herself into a certain role before realizing her individuality. However, she ends up being unable to comprehend Yukino’s end goal because it was never something she could understand herself, thus leaving her dissatisfied.

Now let’s return to Hachiman standing on the steps of the school after prom, facing Haruno, where she accuses him that “You played with words, acted it out, and turned a blind eye.” All of which he is painfully aware of. All the self-deceit and excuses were all trying to rationalize the current reality before them. But Hachiman knows that even before he was only coercing Yui and Yukino in the same way that he is now, and Haruno knows that he is grappling with this, and finds his internal battle comforting. Haruno saw Hachiman as someone like her, who was always “sober.” Never able to get lost in the moment and always was trying to be the person who understood everyone in the room. Being able to get “drunk” meant to slip in a delusion of frivolous friendliness, but she couldn’t turn a blind eye to how absurd it felt, because she was too sober. Maybe Haruno simply stuck around just because she wanted to learn from Hachiman what she could never figure out herself.

The plea for “something genuine” was ironically disingenuous from its conception, because misbegotten reasoning made Hachiman realize that the act of pursuing something is inherently disingenuous, and now his current efforts to salvage the relationships is simply making them swallow yet another lie. It’s a slippery slope where you begin to think too much and you’ll eventually be talking yourself in circles. You start to question the validity of the first question asked and wonder if everything was for naught. These are the kind of things that undoubtedly keep Hachiman up at night as they once did for Haruno. Being drunk means to swallow a lie and pretend that everything is alright. Haruno realized that she is too sober to fall into this mindset and becomes jaded to relationships. Hachiman realized that despite the ramifications of being disingenuous, it’s the only solution. That is why in his confession to Yukino he says “So allow me the privilege of distorting your life.” It’s impossible to live without the influence of others on your life, and through the forming, breaking and mending or relationships, people distort each other. The impression of them is carried in the other person, and so Hachiman’s confession is a plea for Yukino to allow him to be a part of who she is and will be, instead of the separation of individuals that Haruno seemed to prefer. Nothing is genuine, Haruno. It never was nor should it ever be.